English Articles

THE INVISIBLE TEENAGER

Do you know a teenager who unknowingly allows their low self-esteem to affect
their physical and mental health? Not to mention their future...

Everyone knows an invisible teenager. You know who I’m talking about: That brilliantly talented kid who has such incomprehensibly low self-esteem that they do not say a word to anyone unless they have to, they go out of their way to be unnoticed, they accept a 0% on an oral presentation rather than speak in front of the class and refuse to eat lunch for fear of walking into the cafeteria alone.

Due to their lack of self esteem, a lot of these invisible teenagers develop health complications, such as colds, difficulty breathing, anxiety attacks, malnutrition, depression, etc. Yet if they were given the proper tools to learn to trust their instincts and believe in themselves, they could easily become the next Stephenie Meyer, Sidney Crosby, Taylor Swift, James Cameron or Bill Gates.

These same teenagers, who inwardly dream of becoming successful, admired and respected, allow their dreams to be crushed by simple comments from family, friends, and other influences. Without their self-worth, they believe others rather than their own instincts and so they spend more energy on trying to be invisible rather than on following their hearts’ desires.

Although Yo Coach’s heart is set on helping teenagers, we know that a teen is often too proud to admit they could use some help. And even if they did get help and acquired the tools necessary to trust in their own potential, what would happen if he/she came back home bursting with this new knowledge? He/she would probably be greeted by the same loving; well-intended parents who, with just a few seemingly harmless words, could burst their teens bubble to kingdom come. This is why it must start with you: the parents.

Nathalie Ayotte, Yo Coach

SEASHELL COMMUNICATION

Would you like to improve the communication between you and your teenager?

In this article, we’d like to present strategies for developing effective communication with your teenager. In order to do this effectively, it is important to keep your ears wide open and to simply LISTEN.  Just as you bring a seashell to your ear and give it all your attention in order to hear the gentle waves of the sea, it is important to do the same with your teen. This will give him/her the space to express himself/herself without feeling judged or blamed.

When you are not listening to your teen, you are not able to hear the calm of the sea. This is the syndrome of the broken seashell; in this case, however, it is the communication between you and your teenager that is broken.

Here are some examples of “Open Seashell Communication” that will help you open your ears and be more attentive to your teens’ fears and worries:

• I am very interested in what you have to say.
• What do you think?
• Do you want to talk about it?
• Would you like to share more about it?
• You know what that means?
• That’s a very good question!
• I you trust.
• I don't know, but I will inform myself.
• This seems to be very important to you.

Here are some examples of "Broken Seashell Communication” that will close any possibility of creating an open communication with your teen.

• This does not concern you!
• We’ll talk about when it the time comes.
• You're too young to understand.
• If you say this again, I’ll...
• That’s just for kids.
• Why are you asking me that?
• I don’t care what your friends do!
• You don't need to know this.
• Don’t come see me when you make a mistake!
• I told you so.

When you eliminate judgment, preconceived ideas, fears and emotions from your listening, your children will start to trust you and open up to you as they would to a friend.  

Nathalie Ayotte, Yo Coach

TOP 10 - Random Acts of Kindness (RAK)

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”
- Leo Buscaglia

November 13 is World Kindness Day, a day created by an international organization in Singapore known as the World Kindness Movement in the year 2000. This day is celebrated by World Kindness groups and organizations around the world. The common goal of each and every one of these groups is to emphasize the positive change that an act of kindness can have on society and the world.

Considering that “kindness is contagious”, we’d like to invite you to spread it like wildfire by performing at least one of the following Top 10 Random Acts of Kindness TODAY:
       
TOP 10 - Random Acts of Kindness (RAK)

1. Pay It Forward: Leave a small gift at the door of a family suffering illness or loss, or do something nice for someone, (ex: mow their lawn, cook breakfast or shovel their driveway).
2. Pay it backwards: Pay for the order of the car behind you at Tim Horton’s drive thru; buy a movie ticket for the person behind you in line; or leave enough change at the vending machine for the next person to buy something.
3. Write a note: to a teacher, parent or boss, thanking them for making a difference in your life; to your kids telling them how much they mean to you;
4. Write an anonymous note: and leave it on someone’s windshield at the grocery store; or for a colleague simply to cheer him/her up.
5. Give praise and gifts: Call the manager of the store or restaurant you are in and tell him/her how pleased you are with the service of their employees; donate clothing, furniture and toys to charities that help families in need; bring a round of coffee and donuts for everyone at work; or buy a gift card and give it to the cashier as a gift.
6. Organize a “Spa Day” for a special friend. Set-up an appointment at her favourite hairdressers’, book her a facial and a massage and babysit her kids.
7. Reverse roles. Do something for those who usually do something for you.
8. Stand up for someone: Stand up for a friend who is being bullied by others; be friendly to a colleague you would normally ignore; or slip some money into the pocket of a needy friend.
9. Unlock hidden talents in others simply by using ... encouraging words.
10. Invite others to do a RAK ... for someone else. Why not contact your local radio station to explain to them that it’s RAK Day and ask them to spread the word?

Lastly, we would be grateful if you shared your RAK with us by email or phone.

Remember to always be on the lookout for opportunities to do a RAK!

Nathalie Ayotte

Yo Coach blog is nomated at the Canadian Weblog Awards 2010
in the following categories: